MommyBloggers: Follow Up

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It seems that someone finally tapped the nest of mommybloggers and pointed them to my post last week. Ladies, hello! It seems, with all the comments I’ve buzzed up, I need to make a little follow up to my post.

Let me begin by making something very clear: this isn’t an apology. I stand by what I said, and not its misinterpretations.

There is a real problem out there: there is a “mommyblogger” formula being used, in which mommy bloggers turn to a format which justs post deals of the week, coupons, savings, and puts on this great act of being great moms and frugal shoppers while offering no individual flavor. That’s the issue I discussed in my post last week, and several of you have acknowledged that these bloggers do exist.

Yet some of you have taken it as a generalization that “just about every” mommyblogger out there is one of these formula feeders. I suppose I can see that if you look past the intent of my message, and come with a clouded vision that I’m out to hate mommy bloggers or call them all clones, that’s exactly what you’d read in my post. Perhaps I should have used the word “some” more; however, I don’t think that would have stopped the small “outcry.” You’re all focused on one statement – “most mommy blogs are generally identical” – rather than the context it falls in.

First of all, I’m not an idiot. I have seen a lot more blogs by mothers than the several dozen I did on contract and the two from my friends I mentioned in the post. I read, pass by, glance at, and take interest in a lot of blogs by mothers, despite it not being really “my thing.” After all, I’m a married lady with no kids and personally speaking, I don’t know if I ever will have kids (and that’s not something I’m happy about). Reading blogs by mothers makes me wistful often, it makes my uterus hurt, and while I adore kids and parenting (with a lot of volunteer time and donations made specifically to babies, kids, and schools), I just can’t fully relate. Reading heartfelt blogs from mothers makes me feel, at times, that I’m living my dreams through someone else’s eyes. That’s why I don’t read them often (even though they are clearly good, if they make me feel that way).

But please take a note here: I’m talking about “blogs by mothers” and not “mommybloggers.”

“Mommybloggers” is a special term. Although many mothers that blog have adapted it, the common use of the term is to refer to a specific class of moms who decide to make money at home by blogging, and take the social media/giveaway monetization route through marketing agreements. That is, the mommyblogging business. There are a few good reads on this:

You see, I may not be a mom, but I do ‘get it.’ I understand some of the issues mommy bloggers face, I understand the term as it is used both for pride among the community and as slander. Heck, the use of the term “mommyblogger” reminds me of the use of the term “gay” – both were initially meant to insult the person, both have been adapted by their respective communities, and both have heavy connotations attached to them.

In other words, the context of “most mommy blogs are generally identical” was referring to the mommy blogs focused on monetization – something that I thought was evident in my post, but either a) wasn’t or b) was skipped over in the heat of the moment.

Not a single one of you who commented on the blog are anything less than fantastic when it comes to blogging. I’ve dropped by each of your blogs. None of you are following the formula, and that’s fantastic.

But that doesn’t mean that the formula doesn’t exist, and that doesn’t mean that there being dozens of cloned mommyblogs out there doing the same thing is not a bad thing. In fact, I’m shocked that more of you aren’t outraged these blogs exist and keep doing what they’re doing, because it gives the whole “mommyblogger” thing a bad name in the first place. It’s irony that no one following “the formula” is coming to defend themselves, but all the people who the post didn’t apply to are. In fact, the whole argument you’ve all brought is “we’re not all like that” even though I admitted that very thing.

I’m not claiming to be “better” as a mommy blogger because I’m not one. I’m not even claiming to be a better blogger. My post was pretty simple: don’t following the mommy blogger marketing formula; be unique.

Those of you who have dropped by so far and offered your opinion don’t even need that advice, so there’s no reason to be so offended.

And if your intent was simply to make me more aware of good blogs by mothers, thank you – while I was already aware that there were hundreds out there, I discovered a few more and appreciate your sharing. You’re bold, courageous women who aren’t afraid to make your lives and emotions public, and that’s something we all should admire.

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3 Responses to MommyBloggers: Follow Up

  1. VDog says:

    Funny that Mark thinks the hive has come out…he hasn’t seen ANYTHING when it comes to “mommy blogger” group think and “I’ve got your back” syndrome.

    The comments on your original post were quite civil actually.

    I’m going to come right out and say it — you are right. There is a whole class/group of “mommy bloggers” that do exactly what you speak of — shilling for the man (#snort) and “sharing” “deals” and so on. I prefer to leave those beeshes out of my reader.

    Those of us that write about depression and miscarriage and broken bones (and OMG ONLY HAVING ONE CHILD) tend to stick together, as do those “couponing” blogggers.

  2. VDog:

    I did not think any hive came out … yet. Not at all, I was just offering preemptive caution to Jaime. 🙂

    Yes ma’am, I have seen it. I have seen it a lot. I have been in a lot of hives, and it has often only been my raw sexiness and ability to anger people all the way to the point of laughter which throws off the attack hormones. I have been here on this ‘net a whole lot longer than mommyblogs have existed. Before that, there were forum-hives of bees. LOL

  3. I’m not outraged that those “other mommybloggers” blog exists. Honestly, it takes too much energy to get outraged over something so benign. There are more worthy things to get outraged over, like BP oil and the fact my husband drank more than his fair share of coffee and only left me a cup and a half this morning. Bastards, the both of them!

    And while we’re discussing mommybloggers and gays in one blog post, I would like to point out that you can say “most mommybloggers are generally identical” and I can say “most gays are generally perverts” and it pretty much doesn’t matter what context follows such sweeping statements. I’ve generalized in an irresponsible manner and I should just deal with making an ass of myself.

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