Judge me by my words

A Holstein dairy cow with prominent udder and ...
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There are many reasons I love to write, besides the fact that it’s in my blood. I could talk about many of them, but today I am going to go to one that’s a little more personal to me.

Let me relate to you an experience I had two days ago: I decided to take a walk around my apartments. This is a nice half-mile walk if I just take one lap, and was a nice way to get out and enjoy the day and then snag the mail. So Andy (my husband) and I slipped on some comfortable warm clothes, and started taking our walk.

The first half of the walk was pleasant. It was a nice day, chill but with the sun offering plenty of warmth. But as we hit the half-way point and began making our way to the mailboxes, I heard some laughter and then a strange sound behind me. Two strange sounds, actually, repeated over and over – two individuals. And then I realized what I was hearing.

They were mooing at me.

It was two teenage boys (I didn’t turn to figure it out; they ended up walking right into us later), and they were moo’ing at me. Now, their moos were retarded – they honestly sounded more like a sickly cow crying for milk – but there was no mistaking what they were doing.

They were calling me a cow.

I quietly told hubby that it was OK, just to ignore them, as he asked if he should teach them a lesson. We finished our walk to the mail boxes, giving them time to catch up and only moo in our faces as we crossed paths. Hubby made a nice comment about them practicing their mating calls, but I touched him to remind him to let it go.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t let it go. The more I tried to ignore it, the more it stuck to me. And that’s the reason I’m writing about it today.

Now, you have to understand that I do get comments like this on a regular basis – over the internet. Once in a while – maybe every two weeks – some anonymous jerk will leave me a comment such as how I’m a disgusting pig that gives them the dry heaves, or that I’m a fatty who would know about online games cause that’s all I do, besides stuffing twinkies down my maw like Jabba the Hut. I’m not exaggerating – these are real comments I get.

Sometimes, I can let them pass. Sometimes, they just come at the wrong time for me and I get emotional. I am used to them, however- in an anonymous fashion.

I haven’t been called fat to my face since first grade – when I actually was kind of scrawny, but the baby fat on my face was lingering and people wanted any excuse to insult me for being best friends with a black girl.

And this brings me back to why I love writing: I am judged by my words. Even if my picture accompanies the text, your attention is to the words, your evaluation of me is based on what I have to say and how I say it. That is, of course, unless you’re a shallow douche-bag.

People are shallow, and quick to judge. I’m overweight, yes. Why? Because I had a blood sugar issue that went untreated for ten years. It’s being treated now, but I’m still struggling to actually lose the weight, even though I eat healthier, and am more active, than before.

So I embrace writing, not because I can hide behind it – my picture’s out there on the internet, I don’t hide my face – but because I can stand behind it, and be judged by my words, by who I am, and not what I look like or how much I weigh.

Judge me by my words, my character, and I shall do the same.

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7 Responses to Judge me by my words

  1. Sharon says:

    This was a really good post. I’m glad to have found you. I ‘m mortified that you have to experience this kind of prejudice in your life.
    I have an online journal called Diversity Writers Network. (http://diversitywriters.net/) I wonder if you would consider writing something for it on your experiences. Or perhaps even reprinting this post there? It’s very appropriate for the website, as it’s all about celebrating diversity and promoting tolerance.
    Please email me sharon.egan@diversitywriters.net if you are interested in publishing with me.

  2. Sara Broers says:

    Unfortunately, these types of things happen way too often! I am so sorry that you had to endure something like this. We, as a society, are way to judgmental of people. These teens, obviously were being “stupid” and/or have some life lessons to learn. We are not who we are by how we look on the outside. We, as people, are about who we are on the inside. When I speak with church youth groups- this is a BIG focus of what I speak to them about! So many people, not just teens, need to be reminded that each and every person has a right to be surrounded with love and respect. Keep writing, girl! You got a lot of great ideas/inspirations to share!

  3. Jaime–
    You are a beautiful person both inside and out. I’m proud to call you my friend. It’s sad that kids and even adults don’t bother to look at a person’s true character and worth and just throw judgment out like it’s theirs to pass. I’m glad to call you friend.

  4. Jaime, Hearing this is just so heart breaking that anyone would do or say anything to someone so cruel. You are a very beautiful person I am honored to call my friend and obviously this teens were not taught how to be human beings! Hearing things like this outrages me! Stand tall you have much to be proud of!

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